t_time3

Ever had one of those days when you feel like you've been up forever and by the time you finish doing all of the usual things or other obligations that you just want to hibernate at home and unwind.? This was one of those days. Company picnic and Mother's Day shopping.
And tonight I was invited to a gathering of friends at an important celebration. And I wanted to go. But my recliner was also calling me.
I am so glad I went. I feel a sense of release. Spiritual perhaps. Maybe I just needed a moment to remind me of what's really important to me and what I need to pursue more or focus on more. More than the brief temporarily satisfying moments I think were good for me.
I'd give up those for the feelings times like tonight brought me.

I just returned from a fabulous Beltane celebration In Illinois with friends I love having in my life as well as people I would enjoy getting to know. The ritual was simple but had such strong energy and positive intent. I started thinking about what I wanted this season to represent for me. And then a dear friend to me put it perfectly with how she wanted things to be.
Basically it comes down to returning to the ME that I feel I have put on hold or at times have tweaked for the sake of the situation I was in (or the person I was with). I think as a result I did live as fully in the moment as I could have or should have done. And I feel a difference.
I will admit that I am not always "me" and it has caused me to feel different around my friends and family. So they too lose out on the fabulous self that is T (teehee).
So in the spirit of reinvention, I want to give myself a clean slate to all of the 'what ifs' of the recent past and being hard on myself. I am a self aware person. I know when I slip. I know when I improve.
Most importantly, I know I deserve the best out of the life I create. I know I want to do more in many areas of my life; education, health, loved ones, socializing (and I don't mean clubbing or bar hopping lol). And I want to meet and be around people who would enjoy the ride along with me, and share theirs with me.

So to all of those who acknowledge, celebrate, revel in and enjoy this season; Cheers! Rejoice! Count your blessings.
Enjoy your life!

T

Thanks to Geoffrey for suggesting this site for my urge to blog and compare notes on the things of life that cause amusement, moodiness or inspiration...even if I am doing it for my own health.
May is my favorite month (mostly because my birthday is part of it). And so is Beltane (yesss). And since I see both as being all about celebrating life, love, independence and and being grateful with all that life and deity bring, I am in such a mood to focus on what I want and deserve and where I want to give more to in life.
And being a single gal who enjoys being myself in all of my wonderful open minded and flirtatious probing ways, I find it interesting with the people I have come across who talk a good game about how 'open they are' and yet when it comes down to the nitty gritty bottom line it ends up in an au natural pic or proposal... a wolf in sheep's clothing as I have called it.
Last night was a funny case in point. I had just gotten home from celebrating May Day w/ a wonderful friend Rijka and while I was online I had a strangely brief chat w/ the man I had expected to be propositioned by and a guy I had only considered as a gentlemanly guy who alas was moving to Florida on June. And the temptation was there... strangely UNTIL the pic was revealed..
In the back of my mind I could hear this voice saying "It's a test. Deity is testing you..whatcha gonna do?" Now as my friends know my curiosity can be a blessing and a curse in the most interesting ways since I enjoy.. the pleasures of life.
But I also hate to be bored and if I feel like I am playing fill in or guinea pig to ones ego, I think I will curl my toes myself and find something else that suits my fancy.
I am an honest, open minded, caring, trustworthy girl who gives with an open heart and treats others as well as I am treated.
Hopefully the other suggestions of friends will turn into be a more positive experience.